Coco Goes to PoleCon

The International Pole Convention is a 4-day gathering of Pole and Aerial performers in Denver, CO that hosts workshops, discussion panels, vendors, and showcases. I have been selected to perform in their ‘Sexy Showcase’, and this will be my first time performing Pole for a pole-specific audience, rather than a Club-based audience.

At the beginning of this year I set the intention that I would find myself on a bigger stage. Initially, I thought that would mean I was going to compete- whether in a Pole or a Feature Entertainer setting. It took maybe a month for me to decide that; ‘oof, I don’t really like the headspace I enter when I choose to be competitive’, so I took a step back and re-evaluated.

What did being ‘on a bigger stage’ mean to me, outside of competition? And further, what was it about my ‘competition headspace’ that I didn’t like? Ultimately, my idea of a bigger stage was what others might consider a ‘bigger room’. I wanted community- to build a larger network of people who understood my ‘Whatever She Wants’ lifestyle, and had similar skillsets and interests when it came to performing.

A competition setting was not the place for that. For a number of reasons… When I compete, I close myself off. I become withdrawn, and my Emotion Mind activates. My Recovering Borderline Personality jumps back into the unstable black-and-white thinking, and truthfully, it is not a sustainable or healthy headspace for me to live in. Competition Courtney is not going to make any friends because Competition Courtney only wants to win. Plus, I’ve re-defined what winning means to me anyway, and it’s not standing on a podium or wearing a crown.

Which is why I chose rather than compete, that I would showcase.

When PoleCon was presented to me, I spent a fair amount of time on their website reading their mission, goals and ethics. What won me over were their views on inclusivity, and respect for SWorkers. Their rules for performance and costume were fair, (‘no butth*les’) and they outlined the boundaries very clearly with examples. My deciding factor was while watching last years’ showcase performances when I saw a performer who moved like me; flowy, spirally, and presence driven, rather than trick driven.

So I said, ok let’s just see what happens.

I took the tail end of a pole class (free play) to play some Gaga and record a one-off freestyle in a sparkly bodysuit. I filled out the Google Form and in the portion where they asked “Why should we select you?” I said this:

“

I lived in CO during a rough portion of my life where I found myself in an abusive marriage, and if I am selected to perform this year, it will be my first time returning to CO since my divorce (don't worry, they don't live in CO anymore so I am very safe). It would be a wonderful opportunity to not just reconnect with all of my pole friends I’ve been missing so much, but a chance for them to see me do what I do best- perform! Not to mention, meeting many new friends along the way.

”

I said a lot of other things too, but that part was personal. I haven’t been back to CO since I left during covid when my abuser abandoned me, and I haven’t felt a pull to return because there is so much emotional baggage attached to it. This trip allows me to rewrite the narrative, and to do so on my terms.

So as I waited patiently for a month to receive a response, I started to just accept the fact that I might not be selected. The DC PoleCon had over 900 applicants and *maybe* 100 were selected… so I was trying not to get my hopes up.

When I did get the email, I was not even 12 hours out from my ‘Cars and Coco’ performance, and was eating the best cheeseburger of my life. It felt like everything was happening at the same time. ‘Do I celebrate the success of the show? The acceptance email? The Principles of Performance workshop is literally dropping in three days….’ What a problem to have- one of abundance.

I have 4 months to prepare for this event. I’d like to get my routine set and cleaned up in a way that allows me to store it in my subconscious so I can focus on performing in the present, out of my head and into my body. I also have 4 months to organize an itinerary of the places I’d like to go, and the people I’d love to see. That Rhinoceros tattoo on the back of my leg? That’s Rudy, and he lives at the Denver Zoo. Little Owl, the cafe that has my favorite sugar spoon? They recently opened another location. The Club I used to work at? It’s not even two blocks from the convention venue. Mommy has a lot of planning to do.

If you’d like to support my PoleCon journey, I have created a collection of merch to do so. Currently, if you purchase a sticker, I’ll write your name on some paper and place it in the treasure chest heels I am wearing for the show. It’s my way of acknowledging you’ve been with me every ‘step’ of the way.

I can’t wait to introduce myself to a brand new audience.

xoxo, c