Or: How I do, at least...

 Journaling has been offered to me multiple times throughout my life. I’ve learned that a large part of my reluctance to journaling was overcoming the fear that someone could read it, and another part was not knowing what to write down.

I had someone read my journal once, it was my mom. She read it while I was having a sleepover at my cousin’s house, and she screamed at me for its contents the entire 90 minute drive home. The worst part was how she referenced entries and quoted them with judgement and shame. I felt violated. After that happened, I stopped journaling in the 'traditional way' with words. I didn't feel safe enough to be vulnerable after my trust had been breached, so I journaled with collages, drawings, playlists, dance. I guess you could say I made art.

I got back into journaling in the traditional sense after my divorce. It was encouraged by my therapist, and reinforced during my time in DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy). I had gotten in the pattern of tracking my emotions and practiced skills through a 'Diary Card'. My consistent journaling didn't come easily though, I was incredibly reluctant for a long time. I think where it changed was that I realized that no one was going to come and 'grade' my journal. My therapist never asked about it, because it wasn't 'homework'. I did get to a point though, where I used it as reference when we were working through some tough subjects. That was very helpful.

I've been consistently journaling for the better part of 4 years now, and I have filled over 30 journals. I engage with a lot of people who want to journal, but don't necessarily know how, and that's okay. I took some time to decode how I approach it, and am sharing them with you now.

These are the things that I do, and while they work for me, they may not work for everyone. So take salt, and when necessary- tell me I’m full of shit.

 

The cut and dry answer is that there are no rules, do whatever you want. The longer and more involved conversation is as follows:

 

1: Choose a journal. Listen, you could write on a paper napkin and then throw it away for all I care. But eventually, you’re going to want to look back on some things, and that’s why I recommend a journal that you can purchase like you would toothpaste. Something you can easily find at an office supply, or stationary store, within a reasonable budget.

 

2: Choose a pen. I want a really nice pen, y’all. I really do. But then I realize how many ink refills I purchased this year, and then I realize how many pens I lost or might be stuck in my couch cushions or under the seat of my car… So because of that, I am sticking with a pen in the $6 range rather than the $600 range.** The whole point is to make journaling a safe space, NOT a homework assignment.

 

3: Decorate your journal. I like to use stickers from local business, or sometimes I’ll draw on the cover with a leather marker. Again, do whatever you want. If you don’t like how it turned out, good news is that you get to make a new one as soon as this one’s full.

 

4: Become a HISTORIAN. Begin each entry notating the Day, Date, Time and any important information like moon phase, location, or notable event. This gives your entry CONTEXT and as time goes on, you may notice certain patterns such as journaling the same time of day, or the places where you journal most often.

 

5: WRITE DOWN YOUR LOUDEST THOUGHT FIRST. Make sure you get all of it out. See where it takes you. When you feel you’ve emptied those thoughts, you can be done if you like. Those loud thoughts might need some space to breathe, so if you wanna give them a few buffers with blank pages, DO IT. I write trigger warnings on some of mine to protect myself if I choose to go back.

 

Boom. That’s it. Look at you go, you’re journaling. Continue to empty any thoughts that arise, and notice what pops up. You can come back to your journal at any time and add more when necessary. Just write ‘now…’ and enter the time. If it’s the next day, start a new page with new headings.

 

If you want to take it further... 

 

6: Enlist the help of a guide Aka; incorporate *your* chosen facilitator. For me, it’s Tarot. For you, it might be something different. I like to shuffle my cards after I’ve processed the ‘chatter’ so I can use the pull as my prompt directive. I like to pull 3 cards, and then study what parts of my life the cards are indicating. It’s VERY important to understand that this isn’t like ‘woooooo, smoke and mirrors magic cards” it can be, ONLY IF YOU WANT IT TO. It can also be a very simple game of flashcards. I like to think of my tarot cards as a game of memory. I shuffle them up, lay them out, and then find that energy match wherever it may be. Sometimes it feels like I’m typing key words into my own personal search engine (my brain) and then looking at all of the suggested answers. Again, it’s your journal, and they’re your thoughts. Tell me to go kick rocks if needed.

 

If you’re brave enough to look back at your journal entries, and want to dive into those patterns, we can, just at a later date. Right now it’s more important that you’re actually journaling. Keep going, no one is grading your journal, not even you.

 

xo,c

 

** I did end up buying a fancy pen, and that's okay. I save it for signing important documents, and writing my intentions. For those long-winded journal entries though, I love my Pilot G-2.